2
Pending approvalOriginal post by Furtive Glance on Furtive Glance

Andrew says "Fuck You." Yes, you. Specifically.

Andrew says "Fuck You." Yes, you. Specifically.

The most important skill in today's fast-paced online world is the ability to find quick, snappy, humorous video retorts suitable for dropping into web page comment/chat board threads.

If the above sentence is true, Andrew (last name not available) soon will be the linchpin of an Internet behemoth with a paper valuation of approximately $7 billion. Fuck you, Über.

Andrew, as he proves above, is not above poking fun at his doughy, scowling, mega-browed, nine-o'-clock-shadowed, generally unkempt self. According to his Twitter page, he is a Pennsylvanian Mass(achussetts)hole, a fan of Opie and Anthony (well, Opie and Jim now) and a self-described "fat loser who is getting older at an increasing rate. I hope I get my life together, but I'm usually distracted by vomit porn and hurtle turtle."

Despite those apparent truths, Andrew has hit upon one winning formula. He posts snappy, one-take-does-it, assembly-line, often poorly edited but generally very brief YouTube clips.

In each, he looks toward the camera and states: "Fuck You, (name inserted here)." The mini-insults are most often handled in three simple words. But sometimes, just for snarky fun, Andrew will throw in "extras" such as an accent (racial profiling or just more hilarity? You decide), a comment on the pretentiousness of the name, or even a relatively lengthy rant.

Andrew has created dozens, maybe hundreds of "Fuck You, (name inserted here)" posts, addressing what appears literally to be every possible name in "the book."

Here are some Gawker matches (or close matches). No "Fuck You, Hamilton" exists. YET.

Andrew's YouTube channel was shut down due to "community guidelines" once or twice, apparently because he had been using poorly obscured dirty jokes in those usernames. (One of them was "ScrewYouChannel.") Now, he is going by the more generic username of requestschannel — and he has plowed through his list of names with a certain snark-fueled joie de vivre.

Here's a rant Andrew recorded to introduce the new channel. He spews hate and invective in every direction, yes — but like every good self-hating schlub, most of the vitriol is aimed specifically at himself:

Is your name not yet on Andrew's list? Do you have a specific insult you'd like Andrew to handle? Well, fuck you, (blank). No, not really; actually, you're in luck, not fuck. Andrew TAKES REQUESTS for a nominal fee.

If you visit his Patreon page, you'll see that Andrew has set up a subscription program in which, for as little as $1 a month, regulars can issue specific requests that Andrew will fill — when he gets around to it, when his dealer delivers, when he runs out of Cheetos, or whatever. There are subscription levels that go up as high as $2400 a year — that lofty level will score you a sweet autographed XBox or some such thing.

This, apparently, was a special request gone awry:

The above video reflects that Andrew does have some rules, as stated on his page: No last names. No racist stuff (though "hateful, mean or cruel stuff is fine though.") And "if I truly hate what you request, I might spend the video insulting your request and you."

Not willing to wade quite that deep into Andrew's fuck-you world? That's fine. Just find ALL YOUR FRIENDS' NAMES among the list of videos Andrew already has created and post them REPEATEDLY all over Facebook, Twitter, HuffPo, Slate, CatholicChat, and on and on. It will be hilarious for two to seven days.

2 Reply